How the chemo grinch tried to steal Christmas.......

For those who haven't been exposed to chemo treatments (and I pray you never will)!

While my last post told how well chemo went and how good I felt afterwards,  much to my disappointment it did not last. 

I had chemo on Wednesday 12/17 afternoon. 

Thursday I felt OK. 

Friday, I began to feel really tired, had a sore throat and just wanted to rest. Because I was tired I chose to miss a volunteer luncheon I was invited to attend. 

Saturday, December 20th (just like they explained the side effect meds given at the beginning of each treatment last 48-72 hours,) found me flat on my back either in bed or on the couch. I was wiped out with total fatigue, sore throat, and rash all over with uncontrollable itching from head to toe. It took everything I had just to get up and eat or drink something as I knew I had to in order to sustain physically.

Sunday, pretty much the same. My sister attended my needs to make sure I ate or drank like I needed to and another day passed. 

My doctor felt if we did chemo on the 17th then I would feel better by Christmas. So in my controlling mind, Christmas is on Thursday so Monday is technically Christmas week so I should be feeling better. Right?  Wrong!  I called the doctor to advise about the rash and uncontrollable itching. I knew the sore throat and fatigue were typical side effects of the chemo but mentioned just to be safe. I so don't want to be a wimpy patient. They called me in a steroid dose pack and said they would see me for my routine post chemo check up on Wednesday 12/24. 

Tuesday, Christmas Eve Eve came and me, Abi, Pat and my boyfriend Steve had our Christmas together. I felt some better at least like sitting at the table and enjoying gifts and time together.  Pat prepared hamburger steaks, baked potatoes and salad as I had requested for our dinner and we had a lovely time together. We have normally done our gift exchange before actual Christmas Day because my children usually had to switch up holidays between me and their dad. That is our special little thing we do and of course Abi is going to use that card to her advantage. 

Wednesday, Christmas Eve I went for my check up and blood work. Dr Gian advised that my white blood count (WBC) was only 300 which means that I have no immunity in my body to fight off anything. "Please stay away from crowds or anyone who may have any kind of cough, cold, or illness your body cannot fight off a simple germ that others can. If you start to run a fever call the office and we will bring you in but if the office is closed go straight to the ER And they WILL admit you. A fever would mean that you are getting sick and your body can't fight it."

Well I heard that loud and clear!  I know what is at the hospital and that is not where I want to be! WITH THE SICK PEOPLE. 

My fatigue, sore throat and rash are all common side effects of the chemo. However my WBC being so low is not the optimal response they hope for. Therefore after each of my next 3 treatments I will have to go back 24 hours later and have a Neulasta shot. This stimulates my immune system to generate neutrophils. You can read more on that by searching Neulasta. In addition, this shot comes with own unique set of side effects. 

I praise Jesus that I have not had nausea or vomiting as side effects!!  Dr. Gian said I was maintaining my weight which is good and means I am eating enough. I have always been good at maintaining my weight. LOL. 

After going to the doctor I came home and took a rest so I would feel up to going with Steve to have Christmas with his family that evening. That worked out well having dinner and time with them at his niece's house. 

Christmas Day -  for the past 15 years I have had to joy to spend Christmas lunch with some extra special extended family in Nashville. They are my ex-husbands biological father, his wife and their families. This works because my ex-husband chooses to not acknowledge them or have anything to do with them. (Long story, generational curses, parents teaching kids to choose one parent, his loss is definitely my gain!). Steve has gone with me the past 3 years and we all just get along and enjoy the people God has blessed us with. 

We were supposed to be in Brentwood by 12:30 which meant leaving home around 11:30. Everything now after chemo started is about pacing myself. As I got out of bed and walked to the den I just didn't have the mental or physical energy to shower and go anywhere. Although I had already checked to make sure no one or their children were sick I felt like I might have a slight fever and did not want to take any chances. I chose to stay at home on the couch and not use my energy to shower and get pretty. 

Pat and Abi offered to stay home with me but I really wanted everyone to go about their plans and enjoy Christmas Day with all of our people. I sent them on their way to Huntsville for Christmas with our family. Originally Steve and I were going to drive to Huntsville to see my family after lunch and visiting in Brentwood if I felt up to it. One of the little ones there had a slight cough so I had elected already to not make that trip.

After Pat and Abi went on their way I called my next door neighbor Judi. She and her family are more extended family that I have been blessed to have in my life for the past 15 years. They were having Christmas breakfast that was prepared by her granddaughter Ellen and no one there had any sniffles or ailments so I knocked my hair (yes it's still there) down put on some clothes and walked over to have breakfast with them.  Thank you Judi, Hank, Lisa, Leigh, Ellen and my most special boy Stephen. I can't begin to tell you all how much this sweet little family means to me. God knew our futures when I moved to this house!

After my little breakfast visit I walked back home then Steve came over for the day. I spent the day on one end of my sectional and he on the other watching TV. Steve went and got Hardee's burgers for lunch. Pat and Abi returned home at 7:30 bringing a spread of Christmas dinner from my mom, sister Brenda and niece Priscilla. 

In the past 3 years Steve and I have had the joy of going on a beach trip the week after Christmas. While we had a trip planned for this year we chose not to go because of my treatment and care. I must say YES I miss the ocean but it feels good to be at home while I feel this way. 

The past 2 days I have started to feel better and have more energy. This is exactly how they tell you chemo will be. Feel OK day of, feel bad to really bad the next week, start feeling better by 2nd week, feel pretty good by 3rd week then have your next treatment. YEP I'm textbook I would say. 

Today is day 11 after my first treatment. I still have all of my hair because I elected to keep it as long as it wanted to stay. Generally it starts to come out between day 7-14 so we will see when my new look  happens.  Food does not taste like my mind knows it should. Fortunately I don't have the metallic taste that many get. On the other hand chocolate and sweets taste rancid if I chew too long or have more than one bite. Food must be very moist (yes Elizabeth and Misty I used that word!) otherwise it becomes a blob I have to spit out. After about three bites of anything it just feels like chew and swallow with no taste at all. My favorite foods this week have been dill pickles, plain Lays chips and French onion dip. Told ya I could maintain my weight! 

An interesting fact I read about maintaining weight while on chemo is that for every pound you weigh you need to consume 16 calories. In other words a person weighing 160 needs to consume 2400 calories per day. That would be no issue if food tasted good. At this point it is oddly a challenge to consume that many calories.  Boost extra protein is my go to snack, drink, just give me something to consume. Chocolate of course!

This Wednesday 12/31 I have blood checked again then next chemo on 1/8 then Neulasta shot 1/9

By next post I will probably be modeling my new hats and scarves that I have received. New year, new look, new boobs 2015 is gonna rock! 

And I want to give a big shout out and prayers to my dear friend Lisa as she embarks in the morning on a whole new chapter in the life of her and her husband Greg. Lisa leaves in the morning to fly to St Thomas USVI where they are moving to live. I am so proud that you all are taking this step in faith to persue your dreams!  If you can't follow your dreams why have them?  God, I pray you protect them and show them grace as they serve others through healthcare and follow their dreams. 

“Have courage. Open your heart, and listen to what your dreams tell you. Follow those dreams, because only a person who is not ashamed can manifest the glory of God. 
There is no sin but the lack of love. Have courage, be capable of loving, even if love appears to be a treacherous and terrible thing. Be happy in love. Be joyful in victory. Follow the dictates of your heart. 
Meet obligations in life. But obligations never prevented anyone from following their dreams.” 
― Paolo Coelho

Love you all and stay strong!

Sherry

That right there is one pretty gal. I love her so!

What a blessed first chemo day.

Let me share what a blessed day I have had. 

The first blessing of the day was that I learned that I and my brother-in-law Brad Stoker in Texas were having chemo at the exact same time. While I had my first treatment Brad was having his first of a new treatment to, slow the progression of Glioblastoma (brain tumors) that he had surgery for 2 years ago. The tumors are recurring and growing. He is such an amazing fighter through all of this. I LOVE YOU BRAD!  It was so good to see him and my sister Janet as they came for Thanksgiving. Prayers for them too please!

God has covered me so well with answered prayers that so many of you continue to lift for me. Chemo actually didn't get started until closer to 2:00pm so I didn't get finished until 5:30. That was ok because when I was seated in my treatment chair I was surrounded my many seasoned patients who have been at this much longer than I have. I ask that when you pray for me you pray for the comfort and healing of the patients I come in contact with and that God will use me to inspire and share Jesus with them as he would desire and the time is appropriate.

1st 30 minute IV bag was decadron (steroid, hence the reason I am awake this time of night) and Aloxi for anti-nausea, next 15 minute bag was another anti-nausea med then 1hr bag of chemo med Taxotere, then another 1hr chemo bag of Cytoxan. Praise Jesus that I had no reaction to any of the meds, especially the Taxotere as that is the med many have a reaction to which is shortness of breath. 

Also during the Taxotere they whipped out the cool gloves which are great big fur lined, thick gel filled, frozen mittens. The purpose of the cool gloves is that it helps reduce the nerve damage to fingertips and finger nails. The chemo can make fingernails turn dark and die. 

This was my home alone pose!  But I was not alone. Along with Jesus sitting right beside me I was accompanied by my girl Abi and sister Pat.  Thumbs up 👍

Then later in the day my friend Malinda came to visit and brought me this wise owl that I owl always cherish. Min case you didn't know damask is my fave pattern, especially black and white!

When chemo was over I was feeling pretty spry thanks to the decadron and no nausea thanks to those bags so we went to dinner with Malinda and her family. Needless to say I ate good and plenty!  While I had a good appetite I thought I would indulge it. 

When arriving home after my chemo/feast but "what to my wandering eyes did appear"

These pretty pink boxing gloves left on my porch by my dear friends Nancy and Sam. I love a good fight ha know!

But wait there's more...

Right there perched in my recliner was tucked a little Christmas bag from my thoughtful sister Frieda and husband Glenn. And folded neatly inside were 2 beautiful scarves for me to stylishly wrap my head in when my hair moves out in the next 7-14 days. I am encouraged about that by all of you and especially by comments from my friend Kelly that I mentioned in an earlier post as traveling this route ahead of me. Thanks Kell!  Yesterday at work Elizabeth showed me how to wrap a head scarf then Holly at the ABC wig bank showed me as well ....and here is my very first attempt at doing a head wrap on myself that I was so unsure of on Monday, I got this what was I thinking?

Well my eyes are getting heavy and the reflux from overeating and chemo is subsiding, the 2nd hot flash (oh my on top of the ones at night already) has passed so I think I will call it a night!

What's next:  PET scan that was scheduled for tomorrow 7am was cancelled because insurance wouldn't pay because my lymph nodes were clear (that's a good thing).  So now it is whole body CT scan at 11:50 tomorrow which means 6hrs NPO before and that I need to get up at 5:30am to eat to fight nausea and fatigue. Next chemo is January 8 (Elvis' birthday). I need to borrow or buy a cheap Elvis wig to wear so I can put some smiles on the faces of my new chemo friends who are there and are fighting a tougher battle. If you can hook me up you know how to find me!

Love to all!

I told you I am blessed and I hope you feel loved and blessed to!

Sherry

Chemo time!

Since my last post I have done very well with recovery from surgery. To date I have received 3 fill ups in my tissue expanders and will have at least one more on 12/23. I have felt really good and returned to work on December 8. This was just 4 weeks after my double mastectomy. 

I also had a birthday on December 9. This particular birthday was more humble for me considering the fact that cancer could have taken my life. 

On Thursday, Dec 11 I had my first visit with oncology. It was a very informative appointment. I learned that in addition to the ER/PR/HER status of my cancer there is also another level that is checked which is the Ki67 level and mine was 36. This level indicates that my cancer was one that multiplied rapidly.  Below I will show a couple of pictures I took while Dr. Gian was explaining everything to me. This made understanding much easier for me. It may not make much sense to you but I am putting them here for me to refer back to.  

The first picture explains how the biology of my cancer is determined as well as the receptor results. 

The picture below is the flow of my treatment plan. 

Up to now the surgery and recovery have been an easy path to travel. I know that is largely due to answered prayers that have been lifted by many many people. Now, the rubber meets the road. The oncology appointment and all of the information given to me is a bit overwhelming. From Friday, 12/12 to Thursday, I have 8 appointments for various things. Three of these appointments were elective for educational and assistance as provided by the ABC program through YMCA.  Here is a glimpse of my week. 

Friday, 12/12 - evaluation by lymphedema therapist for baseline and education

Monday, 12/15 - 9:20 GYN appointment, 2:45 Chemo learning class (and I will say I learned everything I NEVER wanted to know about chemo

Tuesday, 12/16 - 8:30 expander fill appt, 2:00 Wig bank appt with ABC -got wig, 3:00 eval with dietician for ABC Program

Wednesday, 12/17 - 12:45 first chemo treatment

Thursday, 12/18 - 7:00am PET scan

Let me tell a little about chemo teaching. The chemo nurse gave me a tour of the chemo treatment area and explained how things would flow during my treatments. This is when reality really hit that I am actually going through this. She explained each medication I would receive and the sequence they would be given in. She went over all possible side effects that could occur with each drug along with everything I should watch for and what to do in the event they happened.  Yes I will lose my hair and this generally happens between 7-14 days after the first treatment. The nurse advised the you can usually know when your hair will come out because you have a scalp pain not like a headache. This is indication that the hair cells are dying resulting in hair loss soon. Many people choose to go ahead and shave their head at that point. 

So my next big decision is do I want to shave my head this weekend or wait and see if I can keep my hair for Christmas and shave it after Christmas?  In either choice, all I want for Christmas is head wraps, hats and scarves.  So that I don't shock anyone when walking in at Christmas events, I will likely play the waiting game and shave after Christmas. If that doesn't work, I got a really pretty wig today. 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Healthy New Year with love and peace!

Sherry

Just Thankful!

There are so many things I am thankful for but especially the blessings of the past week. On a selfish note I am thankful for the following:

Second surgery last Friday being a success. 

Fresh pink skin on my chest tha has no stabbing over. 

Drains removed

A shower tomorrow

Getting to wash my own hair tomorrow

Feminine and face wipes - they have been my best friends over the past 3 weeks

Chapstick

Friends to drive me to doctor appointments

Friends that take me for surgery, stay and bring me home

A mind that can focus and is anesthesia free

Friends that continue to bring delicious food

Godly and talented doctors to take care of me who I can laugh with and cry if I want to

And while I was in surgery last Friday all of the following taking place:

My sister and her husband being able to travel here from Texas for Thanksgiving

My niece having a safe delivery of her 2nd healthy child in Savannah

My sister having safe travels to and from Savannah

I pray that we all will be the person God made us to be and to love each other through out storms and parades. 

Be happy any blessed!

Sherry

Next week:

See plastic surgeon for first fill up of tissue expanders

See general surgeon for referral to Oncology

Sometimes on a Journey you have to take a side road

I went back to the plastic surgeon today for a 2nd visit. It seems my tissue issue has not improved enough to trust it to it's own healing. 

There is an area of skin on both sides that is about the size of a quarter that is not responding with blood flow the way the doctor had hoped. When I saw him Monday he had me begin applying a topical  antibiotic cream and come back today in hopes for improvement. 

Well today came and improvement was not enough. Doctor is afraid if left as is, infection may develop and spread into the tissue expanders. If that were to occur we would have a whole lot of mess in my chest.  AND WE DON'T WANT THAT!

So what do we do?  Well we go back to surgery on Friday afternoon. I will go to the ambulatory surgery center at MMC sometime that afternoon and will be home that evening. Dr. Medling will go in and cut out the skin that won't cooperate, pull the happy skin together, stitch me up and send me home. 

Will go back to the doctor on Tuesday to be told "the second surgery was a huge success!"

Do ya get that?  I am calling it out as a success right here and now in the name of Jesus!

Tomorrow I follow up with the general surgeon who did the mastectomies and will get final pathology and staging. Likely will get referral to oncologist to talk about chemo. Immediately after seeing general surgeon will pre-register in same building for Friday's surgery. 

Does anyone have a 2015 calendar?  I am running out of days already!  Just kidding, I have one.

The brighter moments of the day consisted of my friend Trish coming over and we played beauty shop. She straightened my hair and I felt like a whole new person. I have had my hair in a bun for two weeks now and was afraid of being nominated to be Mrs. Clause in a Christmas pagent. After the beauty session we stopped by the new Walmart to pick me up a couple of sassy new zip front tops/jackets since I am required not to wear anything pullover.  No I will not take off my jacket because all that is under is an ace bandage.  We grabbed a bite of lunch and were off to the doctor. Nothing like a little retail therapy to stimulate the endorphins needed when finding out about more surgery. 

Now if you really want a chuckle, I shared a story with Trish while she was doing my hair about when I was a young gal and me and my cousin Kim played beauty shop. You see my aunt kept me and my brother while my mom worked. That was back in the 60s when Dippity Doo came onto the scene as the top hair product. Well I have 4 older sisters that we watched closely when they Dippity Did their hair. Kim decided to be the stylist and I was the customer. She leaned me back in the little platform rocker we had and just kept putting the product in my hair. I would say "that's enough Kim" to which she would reply " no wait, just a little more". The problem with this fun day of make believe was that our Dippity Doo was a large cardboard box of Vaseline!  Needless to say when my aunt came in I spent the rest of the day laying on her kitchen counter with my head in the sink getting a real washing. She even used de-greaser!  I don't have a problem with oily hair to this day. Thanks Kimbo!

Be blessed love and pray for each other!

Sherry

1st post op follow up with Plastic surgeon

This visit went well. A bit bittersweet though. 

He removed 2 of the 4 drains which was a good thing. 

Dr.  Advised to use arms as little as possible because the more I use them the more fluid my body will produce = drains not coming out. Alright then. 

The issue with not using my arms is that I feel really good and forget what I am not supposed to do. I think I may need a straight jacket!

In addition, there is a skin area on both sides that the blood flow is not well on. Dr said to start using an antibiotic cream in homes of avoiding infection in skin or tissue expanders. If skin doesn't improve this could mean additional out patient surgery to remove this skin and re-close. 

Thank you for your continued prayers!

Be Blessed!

Sherry

Pretty day for a car ride

Today I decided to get out of the cozy PJs put on makeup and go for a car ride!

Since it wasn't bitter cold like the past couple of days I decided today was the day. 

1.  A couple of things I want to share for those who are taking this journey:

After you have mastectomy either single or double, your balance might not be the same as it was before surgery. After all with the change in shape of your chest your center of gravity as you have known it may change. 

2.  If you have experienced dizziness post anesthesia you might have to move a little slower than pre surgery

Yesterday upon waking up after sleeping in my bed for the first time, I woke up feeling not rested but ok considering. So as I decided to get up I swung my body up without using my arms. I happened to forget that my bed is a little tall and I get a little dizzy when sitting up. As I slid out of bed I managed to

not walk but stumble straight to the ground landing on my knee and whacking my left cheek right on the doorframe to the bathroom

Poor Abi woke immediately and was terrified that I was hurt. Fortunately God picked me right up and sat me into the chair. I gathered my composure while assuring Abi that I was fine and not hurt, all the while checking to make sure I hadn't pulled a drain out or damaged any of my surgical area. Thank you Jesus for no damage or injury. 

Needless to say no black eye just just a small bruised knee and everything else ok. The take away on this is that although you feel "well" you must take it slow and know that you are somewhat limited on what you should/can do even when your mind thinks you can do something. 

Recovery continues to go well and progress in the wound healing direction. Next up:  follow up appointment with plastic surgeon Monday morning and hoping for drain removal. Closer by the day. 

I hope each of you have a blessed weekend and enjoy life.

Much  Love,

Sherry

Thank you Carol for the beautiful crochet pink ribbon scarf. And Pam and Chris for the lovely flowers!

6 days post surgery

I continue to be blessed through this journey that I know will be a Glorious Unfolding!

If you start this journey on your 6 th day you might experience some puffiness in your chest area. Remember to massage this area to help avoid lymph edema which can be painful. 

Some of my posts will be lengthy and detailed as my hope in this journey is that it's glorious unfolding will be an inspiration to even just one reader who is scared about beginning their own journey .  Once I was diagnosed on August 28,2014 I was starved for real information on what to expect. I can't really tell you what I expected but I can say that so far it has been easier than expected for whatever that was. I have pain meds but don't take them because I don't have pain! Now if there is someone out there reading this and thinking about breaking in just forget about it.  I will also tell you that I believe with my whole heart that I'm covered by the grace, mercy and healing of my Saviour and the Great Physician Jesus Christ. If you don't know Jesus or don't have a relationship with Him I believe you can expect your journey to be more difficult because you don't have Him and his army of prayer warriors to carry you through!  If you want more information on a relationship with Jesus please comment to me and I will get back with you. If you have local Christian resourses where you are, please reach out to them. If may be easier than them trying to find you or quicker anyway. Eventually God will place someone in your path to plant the seed of His kingdom. Why wait seek Him NOW!

If you find my post too long it's ok. Read if you want but no offense if you don't. This blog is also to help me remember as I know God will make many of these things a distant memory in what is yet to come of my life here. 

First I will share the inconveniences and close with the great things that carry me through. 

Upon dismissal from the hospital my instructions were:

1.  Don't lift ANYTHING

2.  Rest

3.  Don't reach for anything or use your arms to push up

4.  Keep your arms down to your sides

5.  Re-wrap ace bandage daily to make sure there are no wrinkles in it

6.  Sleep on your back

7.  Empty drains daily as needed and record drainage output as instructed

8.  Only button front tops nothing pulled over your head

9.  The general post surgery instructions concerning fever

Ok so all of these instructions sound pretty easy and shouldn't be a problem for me I am thinking. I'm sure you will agree that they all sound pretty achievable.  Well let's go over them in a little more detail. 

1.  Don't lift anything.

Upon first getting home my right shoulder was very sore the next day my left shoulder was very sore. I knew that was likely from the position they have to place your arms in for surgery and them being that position for at least 5 hours.  That has since gone away so all good there. 

Have you ever dreamed of how nice it might be to have someone wait on you hand and foot and not have to do anything for yourself?  Well I have that opportunity now and for an extremely independent person that becomes really hard. At first when I got home I was still under the influence of 5-6 hours of general anesthesia followed by 36 hours on that peaceful IV pain meds I so graciously received. As that euphoria wears of your earthly independent mind begins to return you start to think oh that's just a pillow, I can pick that up or oh that medicine bottle is just over there, I can reach that.  I must continue to make myself let others do for me. If I forget then my daughter reminds me. A little role reversal here!

2.  Rest

Ah yes!  We have all dreamed of the day that we could just sleep or lay around as much/long as we wanted to and not have to do a thing. Trust me it didn't take me long to get tired of the couch or my new electric recliner. I think it was maybe by day 2 of being home. 

3.  Don't reach for anything.

Refer to number 1. Ditto

In regards to using your arms to push up. Just try that a time or few. We don't realize how habitual we are. So do this. Lay down on your back on your bed or couch.  Fold your arms on your chest like a mummy. Now get up off the couch while keeping your arms on your chest. Ok, now let's try it from a chair. The chair is much easier because you have your legs to push up with. You get the picture though. 

4.  Keep your arms to your sides.

Shouldn't be a problem along with complying with 1 and 3. Well ya see I just love to sleep with my arm gently folded and my head resting upon it like my own personal, always with me pillow or in the rare occasions that I do sleep on my back I like my arms over my head

5. Re-wrap ace bandage daily. This one is pretty simple. It's just making sure you remember to do it because if you forget then a wrinkle can cause a skin fold in your new structure that is forming. Yep forgot that on second day home and now we are on it in the evening routine. 

6.  Sleep on your back

OMG!  I am a full stomach and side to side sleeper!  This has been my most difficult challenge yet. Now that the large majority of anesthesia has worn off (but I can still use that as an excuse for my misty thinking for awhile right?) my sleep patterns are a bit erratic. You sit around all day dose off for a nap. I walk end to end of my house to move around each day to "tire" myself and help with circulation.  Bedtime comes and it takes me a bit to dose off. I sleep for a couple hours then wide awake!  I move from the couch to the recliner then back to the couch. All the while my knees wanting to curl up and and my arms curl up under my head and get my snore on. I think boy how good I could sleep if I could just sleep on my SIDE.

Just a bit of insight as to why you can't sleep side or stomach:

When you have mastectomy single or double with immediate reconstruction they place tissue expanders where the breast tissue was removed. Gradually, once or twice every week beginning 10ish days post surgery the plastic surgeon will inject saline into the expanders to gradually promote growth of new skin and stretch the skin making pockets for the final implants to be placed once treatment for cancer is complete and you have "recovered".  Back to why..... Well if something isn't totally anchored it can tend to shift or slide to either direction. That would mean I could have an expander in the center of my chest or under my arm and wouldn't that be a quirky sight!? I haven't tried sleeping in my bed yet because I don't trust myself. 

7.  Empty drains as needed

When first getting home we generally emptied drains 3 times per day. Now we are down to twice a day. That's a great thing. The fluid drainage gradually decreases and the color gets lighter from total blood red to a lighter pink. We have also progressed to a medium orange hue.

The drains along with the sleeping issues have been the most difficult part of my journey to date. I know that chemo might be worse than these things. Having drains means there are plastic tubes coming from your incision sites. I have 2 on each side for a total of 4. At the end of each tube is a bulb that kind of looks like a grenade.  My doctors and the hospital gave me these nice little bag pouch things that hang over your shoulder to keep your grenades in. God sent a trailblazer in my path before me and she went through same surgery early this year.  Her issue with the drains was that she was using an apron that went around the neck to hold her drains and it tugged on her neck.  We switched her over to an apron that was more like a smock and that worked better. I chose to use the shoulder bags but they kept falling off my shoulders. So we safety pinned them. They stay neatly on my shoulders but easily swung behind me when sitting or lying down. As I pondered this I decided that there had to be a better way. Here it is.  You simply hook the straps in front with a caribeaner!  Works great. After a few days I began to feel as if wearing a combat vest and this just seemed to weigh me down. I humbly (already did but even more now) appreciate our military as they choose to wear armor every day. Through my mind going to minor pity pouts I always circle back to how Jesus felt when carrying His cross to Calvary. Ok I can do this through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

So after my simple bath time this morning I decided it was time for a new look for the drains (and comfort sanity). I was also given this pretty little apron to try so here we go. No more shoulder stuff and trying to be dressed like a warrior lets go for the God moved me through that to a more feminine look. I warn you. The bandage shows in this picture. Not to shock you but for those who come behind me to know what to expect!

Yes I'm hoping that little pot belly I now (yes it was always there but my breasts stuck out above it so it was less noticable) appear to have turns into a 6 pack after all of the core sit ups I do while trying to get up without using my arms. So far all I have is a punch bowl. LOL. Did I say laughter and attitude is everything?

And for my last giggle about my new look... If it were Halloween and I had a set of set of floppy ears, a white unitard and turned sideways I could go as the Easter bunny!  Guess I could rent out for that for Easter photo shoots!

NOW FOR THE GREAT THINGS

1.  Draw closer to God. Trust Him and talk to him through all situations. He will be there 24/7 and does answer, calm, reinforce, encourage and so much more. 

2. God has sent so many angels from his army to go along side not only me but also my family and friends. I hear that about 1/4 of the surgery waiting room might have been my village of angels

3. The inconveniences are temporary.

4. Being of the Baptist faith insures a plethora of good food during recovery and many other Christian Angels from different faiths provide too. I think it's actually a southern thing more than a denomination (hahaha spell check changed that to demonization, I think not) appointing. 

5.  I am living many, many answered prayers. 

6.  My mom, sisters , and friends are there to help me through anything!  When is the last time you couldn't shower or bathe yourself?  I have recovered enough to figure out how to do that now but it took 5 days!

7.  Aleve sinus and Aleve PM. ITS GONNA BE A BETTER NIGHT!

8.  A loving, caring, Christian and totally capable co-working staff who I know have encountered situations that they would have normally looked to me for solution. They are handling everything on their own (I knew the could) and are allowing me to be totally removed from work at this crucial time in my life.

9.  The great young ladies in youth Sunday school who sent me get well cards with sweet prayers and smiles galore that were delivered yesterday. 

7. The thing I cherish most and no offense to anyone who is there for me, is the bond that has become stronger between me and my 17 year old daughter. She has taken upon herself to do everything for me that she can. She tells me not to reach, lift or anything else she sees me do that I forget and take for granted. Most touching to me is that she has made it her job to empty my drains every time they need when she is not at school or at work. She then documents the output and encourages that this color is getting lighter and output less. No mother ever expects for their child to have to take care of them at age 52.  My most precious times are at night when she sleeps on the other end of the sectional and holds my hand while she goes to sleep or she brushes my hair for me.  Thank you Jesus for trusting her to me!  She only leaves me when she has to as that is her way to cope. Not to overlook my son Jon who will be 22 on 11/17. He still has chosen not to contact me for the past 7 years but I have peace that passes all understanding. He IS first and foremost God's child but he does have the free will of choice and influence from society. I love him too with all my heart and hope that some how he will grow from my journey. I also know that the more people try to tell him what to do the further he goes in the opposite direction. He does know what is right and I will continue to love him and pray for him and our relationship. 

I'm sure you're eyes are tired if you made it to the end so I will close for now!  The glorious unfolding continues!

Let survival continue.......

My surgery went very well!  Thank you Jesus!  Surgery to become a survivor took place on Thursday, November 6. It was a long day but no problem for me. I slept through the whole thing. My damily was surrounded by an awesome group of friends who I know prayed for peace throughout the day in addition to Godspeed recovery for me.

Surgery evening was really foggy for me but I do remember a succulent dinner that (yes when you haven't had anything to eat for 30 hours) consisted of orange Jello, beef broth, milk and apple juice.  Got to have a slumber party with my best pal Mal. I think we snored a few tunes. 

Friday I was blessed with many visitors both for me and my dear Abi. Had several laughs and some solid food all through the day and evening.  Friday's slumber party was with my sister Brenda and Abi.  You really feel loved when 4 teenagers choose th spend their evening in your hospital room with you and a another teenage boy and his girl come and bring you flowers. Count that 6 teenagers!

I am so proud of Abi and the way she is handling all of this. She has taken on the role of my private nurse.  She learned with my sisters how to empty my drains (4 of them) and has decided that she needs to this for because I would do it for her. She has been my weekend warrior nurse and tended to my every need. 

Thanks to all who have visited, brought food, sent or brought gifts or flowers. I feel so loved in many ways.  

What's next?  

Well that would be see Dr Medling one week from Monday and then I will hopefully get those precious little drains removed.

I really do feel like a warrior!  I have drain bags over each shoulder and hooked them in front with a caribeane so they won't fall behind me.  Kinda looks like a military vest and the drains look like grenades. Lookout cancer you are being evicted from this country called my body!

Surgery Eve 11/5/2014

WOW! What a beautifully PINK day I have had.
It started out when I walked in at work after a morning doctor appointment much to my surprise all of the staff was dressed in pink and the ladies had matching headbands/hair bows made by Elizabeth. Imagine my shock that I was the only one NOT in pink. But never fear there was a headband for me too. One of the doctors even had on a pink bow tie and the other was sporting a pink ribbon. Then my wonderful coworkers pulled off a total surprise party for me at lunch today. Complete with pink balloons, beautiful flowers, lunch provided by some dear pharmaceutical rep/friends, homemade cake and gifts galore!  There was a gift basket with so many useful things I will enjoy over the next several weeks and the most lovely handmade quilt that each of them had a part in (will give details on that after surgery).  The two doctors that were not in the office today were even able to come by at lunch. I love each and every one of these people and their families so much!  Who wouldn't?

After lunch more visits and gifts from special friends!

Upon arriving home, another friend brought a bag full of snacks for my family to enjoy tomorrow while I enjoy the sleep provided by anesthesia during surgery. My handsome boyfriend came and took me to dinner. Then two other dear friends came by to give hugs and encouragement.

Last night had surgery eve eve dinner with my best gal pal and her man along with my mom and sister. Then we came home to delicious caramel cake sent from Chattanooga with my mom and made by her dear friend Diane. Best gal gave me a precious healing Angel made of clay by a special needs person.

I have received so many calls, visits, well wishes, prayers and text messages today that I am
overwhelmed by the love you all have shown me that Thank You just doesn't seem adequate. I love each of you precious people and appreciate you going on this journey with me!  May you each be as blessed as you have blessed me!

Tomorrow brings a full moon, and a new page in this story.

I am a Survivor through My Savior!
Sherry

Fabulous Fall!

It's been awhile since I have posted. That's because I have been out enjoying the fun Fall things that were already on my calendar before I was aware that breast cancer had taken residence in my body. I have been blessed to take a weekend trip to Gatlinburg in September along with selling Keychains at my church craft fair. So far in October my Fall blessings include a fabulous Caribbean cruise and next week I am honored to help with a baby shower for a coworkers son and wife welcoming their first child.

Today... I have the pleasure of selling Keychains at the annual Harvest Days Craft Festival at Cannonsburgh in Murfreesboro. Many of you know that I hand make and sell wristlet Keychains to pay for mission trips for my daughter and myself.  My dear daughter Abi has been traveling to LaCumbre Dominican Republic with my church for the past 5 years. That means she went on her first trip at age 12 without a parent and God tied her heart to that community. In January she will make her 7th trip to LaCumbre.  While there the team forms relationships with the community which is made up highly of single mothers who turn to prostitution to provide for their families. In March the team took 8 sewing machines, much fabric and sewing notions. They are teaching a core group in the local church to make items to sell. This core group and the team will in turn work with others in the community to learn how to earn income while being able to turn away from prostitution. This wonderful project is made possible by the contributions of many kind people.

In addition to the DR mission trips, Abi and I both have been able to spend a week in summers past serving with my church at a summer camp for special needs children in Missouri. Camp Barnabas is also near and dear to our hearts where we have met and made special friendships with campers and volunteers.

Thinking back to Harvest Days at Cannonsburgh. It was one year ago at this same event that my attention was drawn to a couple approaching my area. The young mother was a beautiful lady who was wearing a black head wrap and pushing a stroller with a young child. The husband was walking with the older but young child and wearing a sweatshirt that said "Occupy The Altar". For some reason I continued to watch them and admire the beauty of the mom who was obviously in the midst of breast cancer survival herself. As she walked past she turned and spoke to her husband. He then returned to my booth and left a contribution for Abi along with some booklets of "Gospel of John". He explained that his organization travels to different events sharing the plan of salvation. This past Spring "Occupy the Altar" contributed 100s of the booklets to be distributed in the DR along with a monetary donation for Abi' s trip this past Spring.  I don't begin to think that the meeting of this lovely couple was at all a coincidence. I truly believe that it was God crossing our paths to share in the mission of spreading His word and love as well as show me just how beautiful a breast cancer survivor and her family can be through the entire journey.   On that day in October I wondered why I
was so drawn to watch this family and now I know why!  Thank you Lord for preparing my heart and mind for this journey that You will see me through!

Enjoy this beautiful day we are blessed with.
And now the time draws near to surgery day on November 6, 2014

Ladies can change their mind....

Monday, September 8

Today we had hoped to have the staging and cell type back. Unfortunately it is not back yet. I was also supposed to pre-register for lumpectomy to be done on Wednesday. 

Over the weekend I had some restful and quiet time to contemplate my situation and choices.  I originally chose lumpectomy because it was an immediate fix.  Here are my options:

Lumpectomy 9/10.                                                        Mastectomy /bilateral

Remove nodule and surrounding tissue.                        Surgical removal of both breasts

Chemotherapy                                                                Chemotherapy

Radiation

Possible disfigurement.                                                  Immediate reconstruction started

30% lifetime recurrence rate.                                      Less chance of recurrence

Stronger possibility this again.                                        Less chance of this again

After thinking all of this over I decided that the best long term treatment would be to go with the double mastectomy while I am younger and can heal easier than having to possibly take this journey again.

Today I cancelled the lumpectomy and have scheduled the bilateral mastectomy for Thursday, November 6, 2014. 

Some may wonder why so long before I do this. Not that I have to explain but to hopefully ease the minds of those that love and care about me; only God knows how long this cancer has been in my  body. It appears that the nodule was present but missed on my mammo in 2013. There has been no indication by doctor or pathology that there is an urgency for removal. I have a few things planned for September and October that I would really like to do. Yes, this may seem selfish but I am at total peace that God knows when my days will end whether I have surgery or not. I choose to enjoy the things I already have planned and not let cancer control my life. Beginning November, 6 I will plan things in conjunction with my cancer treatment. God made us to enjoy life and not live in fear so I will do that to the best of my ability. This Winter will be long with surgery and chemotherapy so I shall enjoy the Fall. 

I ask that when you pray for me you will include my family and also the many people on this journey who don't know Jesus and do not have the joy of The Lord through their journey. 

Sherry

Thursday September 4, 2014 MRI day

MRI ah no problem. I am not cloister phobic, anxious or bothered by loud noise. I've done this before for other issues. OK we're here my portion payment made all ready to go.

I have to lay on my stomach for approximately 1 hour and do not move at all if the machine is making noise. And if we have to stop this test at all we cannot repeat for 48 hours because of the IV contrast.   OK got this.

All along trying to be the happy and cooperative patient I am thinking boy I hope I don't get any muscle cramps in my shoulders, back or legs that I often get. How will I lay still?

IV started, ear plugs in, lay down on my tummy, face down in the cradle (wait, this not a massage table) get everything all adjusted and in the best comfortable position possible.  Rolling back into machine here we go.

As I lay there I began to pray: Jesus if you can carry your cross for the time you did with the open wounds on your body and sweat pouring into your wounds then I can lay here for just 1 hour and not move. Please lay your comforting hands on my body from my head to my toes. Take away any twinge of a muscle cramp that I may begin to feel. I can do all this through Christ who strengthens me. I continued to recite this prayer the entire time and my Lord carried me peacefully and comfortably (ok, still not a massage table!) and the hour had passed before I knew it.

All dressed and here we go back to Dr. Carter's office.

Good news! There is only one nodule. At this point he began to explain my options of lumpectomy or mastectomy along with the additional need treatment of radiation and chemo with lumpectomy and chemo with mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. Wow,  really?  I was actually facing this decision. I am just like everyone else who thinks you know what you would do if you were in another persons situation. We'll let me just tell you this is where easier said than done resonates and rings true. I am now in the decision chair.  Of course nothing has to be decided immediately.....  Really! We are talking cancer here!

At present I am a candidate for lumpectomy which I have scheduled for Wednesday, September 10, 2014. That will be followed by 5 days of radiation 2 times per day. Then chemo consult and therapy later. With lumpectomy there is a 30% lifetime reoccurrence rate along with mammograms every 6 months. All of this could change on Monday when final pathology is received to show staging and cell type. Depending on that result mastectomy may be the best option. So much to consider.......
My Lord will guide me through and provide the wisdom I need.

God and His Angels show up

Thursday, August 28 waiting for ultrasound
While in the ladies waiting area of the imaging facility there were a couple of other women. One around my age and the other several years younger. The youngest lady broke the awkwardness by commenting that we looked like the 3 musketeers in our matching capes. This opened the room for conversation. The youngest lady explained that she had her first mammo and something showed up. She was there for ultrasound too. The other lady explained that she had a mass that was being watched because her doctor was afraid if the opened up the tumor it would spread rapidly so she had to have scans every 2 to 4 months just watch for growth and the best time for surgery.  Instantly I had a warming in my heart for these two new sisters. After I came out from my ultrasound and got dressed I felt a burden on my heart to pray with them. As I was walking out I asked them both if it would be ok if I prayed for them before I left. The lady with the mass responded by saying that would be fine but it would be better if we all prayed for each other. We joined hands and prayed there in the waiting room. God was watching over us.

Friday, August 29
God has accompanied many others before me on this journey. My best friend Malinda's mother Linda began this breast cancer survivor journey in November of last year. Linda is one of the classiest, lovely, God loving women I have been blessed to know. Watching her through her journey gave me even more admiration of her than I already had. She showed me how to continue to be a strong survivor. After having lunch with Malinda I spoke with Linda by phone. I shared with her that since she had been such an inspirational trailblazer that I was going to be following in her footsteps.  Linda was so encouraging not that I expected any less of her!

Tuesday before biopsy on Wednesday, Sept 3 coworker Elizabeth and I were talking about my appointment and all that could take place. Liz and I have a mutual friend that we used to work with at a previous employer who had gone through this breast cancer storm a couple of years ago. Liz asked me if I had talked to Kelly Richardson?  I replied that I had not but was waiting until I had more details but I do need to talk with her.

Wednesday afternoon after biopsy and cancer diagnosis.  My beautiful best friend Malinda surprises me at lunch in the office with Julia's cupcakes for me, my beautiful daughter Abi and my sister Pat who lives with Abi and Me,  and pink flowers. We were able to enjoy some laughs and lunch together. As we were enjoying lunch, one of my favorite pharmaceutical reps and also,a good personal friend Marla shows up with Gigi's cupcakes for our entire office.

As all good lunch breaks must come to an end we all return to work. A short time later I am standing at the copier and our receptionist comes to me and says Sherry, Kelly Richardson is here to see you.  Do you have time to talk with her? I said "who did you say?"  Yes, the receptionist said Kelly Richardson. Imagine my surprise. I asked Kelly if someone had told her to come see me that day and she replied "why would someone tell me to come see you?"  As it turns out Kelly happened to be in the building with her daughter for an appointment and she noticed that our office and stopped in to say hi!

If you even begin to think that all of these angels are coincidence you have it all wrong. I will tell you  what it was it was GOD. He was surrounding me with some of the many people I would need for support and encouragement through MY journey.

These are not all of God's angels. I am surrounded by many, many coworkers, the loving doctors I work for, friends and family near and far and others I have yet to meet. Thank you to all of you have reached out to me in the many ways with your love and care. I love you all!

September 2014. 2 Timothy 1:7

Let me share back a couple of weeks ago. I recently began to teach Sunday School for the 6-8 grade girls at my church. These girls are all very special to me because I have taught most of the on Wednesday nights for the past several years. On Sunday, August 24, 2014 out lesson verse was 2 Timothy 1:7,  for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. This was 2 days after my routine mammo. I had no idea what that verse would come to mean to me.

Returning back to September now.

Wednesday, September 3; consult appointment day with Dr. Carter for scheduling of biopsy. Having known Dr. Carter since he began to practice in Murfreesboro over 20 years ago it was comforting to be in the care of a familiar face and Christian provider. As well, his manager Connie has been a friend of mine for over 20 years. As Dr . Carter began to explain that he felt my nodule was fibrocystic and might only need to be watched I began to feel some optimism towards the situation.   He continued to explain that the nodule would have to be biopsied to make sure. He then asked when do you want to do the biopsy? To which I replied as soon as we can do it. Within 10 minutes I was in the procedure room having said biopsy and would have an answer of yes or no to cancer before I left the office. In the south we call that "gitter done!"

Those who know me know that I am a very positive, strong and optimistic person no matter what situation I face. God gives me the free will of choice to be that way just as He gives everyone else the same choice.

All along since finding out that I had this foreign visitor in my body I have had hope but was not extremely optimistic about the kind of nodule it was. Some people might call that being negative or wishing cancer upon myself. I would have to correct them and say that this stirring inside my heart and mind was the spirit of my Heavenly Father preparing me for the path I was about to realize I was taking with Him beside me all the way.

After a short wait for pathology to be done on my specimen Dr. Carter returned to the room. The look on his face spoke before the words he had came out. He said, I am so sorry!  Your biopsy came back as cancer. As I took a deep breath and drew my strength form God I replied it's OK. I suspected it all along.

The next step is we have to do an MRI on both breasts to check for any other nodules that might not have shown up. OK, let's get that scheduled.

MRI scheduled for Thursday, September 4, 2014 at 12:30

August 2014

Back in March I received my "friendly reminder" cards that is was time to book my annual GYN exam and mammogram.  Being the busy person I thought I was at the time I tossed them aside on my desk to my take care of this later pile.

In early August my boyfriend bought me and himself the 2014 issue of the Farm Bureau Breast Cancer awareness hats. He has a coworker whose wife sells them and thought it was for a good cause.  I generally am not a hat person due to my curly hair that likes to look like Bozo the Clown.  However the visor Steve bought me was a cute and trendy camo and pink with the pink ribbon on the front.  I looked at and thought I like that and it would work well with my hair tamed into a top pony tail, well actually top puff ball!

A couple of weeks letter I saw my reminder cards on my desk, tossed them in my work tote bag and off to work I went.  Finally another few days later I got around to making those appointment calls. Healthcare appointments -check
Mammo set for Friday, August 22, 2014
GYN appointment, October 3, 2014

On Thursday, August 21 while at our local hospital medical office managers luncheon there was a speaker from one of the local imaging facilities. The speaker talked briefly about the new 3D mammo imaging they had just begun to offer.  She explained that the image created is more detailed than the normal mammo us ladies are accustomed to and there is not really a notice lie difference to the patient in how the mammo is done. Insurance currently has not approved the 3D mammo for payment but you can pay $99 out of pocket and have the 3D.

Friday, August 22, 2014 I arrive for my routine' annual mammo. I have always had normal results and never any issues with nodules or other irregularities. As I am registering for my testing I am thinking that I have some funds in my HSA and no major health issues so I will pay for the 3D imaging.

The next week comes and I know a few days after my mammo I usually get my standard letter that everything is ALL CLEAR.   For those who know me you know that I am not a worrier or fretful person.  For some reason I seemed to be watching for that all clear letter.

Thursday rolls around and still no letter. Early that morning while at work. I get a phone call from my GYNs nurse whom I have known both her and my GYN for 20+ years. We chatter the usual how are you and then I tell her that she doesn't call me just to chat so what's up?  It's not a good thing when you call me".   To which she replies "well we got your mammogram results and there is a nodule that showed up so I have scheduled you for an ultrasound for Thursday, Sept 4 but you know how things work and you can move it up if you want to."  I promptly advised that yes I would call and move it up as well as call my favorite general surgeon in town and make an point net with him.

What was that stirring in my mind that made me choose to have the 3D and watch for that letter?  No it wasn't instinct I am quite certain it was God prompting me and preparing my heart.

As soon as I hung up the phone with the nurse I called the imaging facility who said the could do my ultrasound that day at 12:30. Ok, sure I'm good with that, I will see you then. I hung up and immediately called The surgeon's office. Having been employees in medical offices since 1990, I have become friends with many others in the same field.  A friend of mine is the manager for my surgeon so I asked to speak to her. I explained my situation and she was able to make me an appointment for Wednesday, September 3.  Ok appointments taken care of and now I am mentally processing all that has just happened. As most of us medical staffers do we have to have the information in our hands to look at. I had one of our nurses retrieve my mammogram report as I just had to share with someone.  I was a bit numb. Me a breast nodule with no family history of this!

Our dear nurse was the sweet, compassionate and Godly young lady I have known her to be for over 7 years now. She read the report and asked me if I was ok.  Me of course I'm ok. I am strong.  This was a little quiet shared knowledge between just us 2 for now.  About 30 minutes later there were 5 of us from our office who went next to door to the hospital to purchase lunch.  As we got on the elevator one of the girls was looking on her phone at Facebook. She chuckled and said hey look isn't this a cute idea?  It's a graham cracker and marshmallow treat made to resemble a mammogram (you can picture it) to use for breast cancer awareness. There were those two words "breast cancer."  Wow where did that come from?  Again, it was my Almighty God preparing my mind and heart.   As we returned back to our break room to enjoy our lunch we were all chattering as we usually do about whatever topic seems to be the highlight of our day. At this point two of the girls were in conversation when one says that once she had a dog that had breast cancer.  There were those two words again. Ok, God I am hearing this.  Feeling that this was the best time to inflect my humorous attitude I shared with the staff that since breast cancer seemed to be the buzz word for the day. I told my loving, caring and Godly coworker friends that I had a breast nodule on my mammo and I was off to get an ultrasound at 12:30 and I would be back shortly.

Here I am on Thursday, August 28, 2014 not quite a week later having a breast ultrasound. The technician was very compassionate and caring as she carefully performed my ultrasound. As she carefully explored the breast area I was able to see the nodule on the ultrasound. Of course I had to ask the size!  28mm she replied.  As she continued to work carefully into the armpit area I waited patiently.  The technician finished the ultrasound and advised me that the radiologist would read in and be in shortly to go over the results with me.  Yes, I'm thing well OK let's get this all done and put away.

The radiologist entered the room and explained that I have a "suspicious nodule of 28mm along with an enlarged axillary lymph node at 22mm".  He continued to explain that I would need a biopsy to determine if the nodule was malignant (cancer) or benign (not cancer).  Whew, ok. Thanks God for preparing my mind to hear this news.

On Friday, August 29, Steve and I along with his son and a friend were blessed to head to Pigeon Forge for the Labor Day weekend. Boy was this perfect timing! The thoughts that were running around in my head were so emotionally draining. Thank you God for the opportunity to rest, think and enjoy the beauty of the world you created. I found that I watched each rock and plant that we passed along the way. I had on my reality glasses for the things we all tend to take for granted or just shrug off.